Coming around and Fast..

Today was a day of somewhat sadness. You see my sister's husband is getting deployed at the end of this week. 6-12 months they say. But with the military you really never know. And as much as I hate what the military stands for and the fact that he's leaving my pregnant sister to fight for something I believe is a bunch of BULL, I knew that my feelings needed to be put aside. Cuz, my sister needed us. And I could see the tears under her fake smile. I could sense her fear. Her heartache. My heart felt so heavy. The whole family got together to say our good byes. Everyone went on camera to say what they felt and all I could think of was my sister's gonna be all alone. I couldn't imagine NOT having Moi's support through my pregnancy. Feeling so alone. 


As I entered the room, hiding from Marc so he couldn't see what we were doing, the camera was center and ready to get my testimony. I was kinda lost for words. I felt sad. I wanted to cry. But I put on a fake smile and said our good bye's as Eli finished it off with a wave. I promised I'd take care of Marisa and watch over that innocent life that was soon gonna enter this world. Everything flew out the window and I was over my pride. My anger. He made a mistake. But he's leaving, for a LONG time and my anger won't travel with him but just with me, so why hold onto something that has no meaning?! I was coming around to him and FAST. I don't know if it was guilt on my part for feeling like that, or just the mere fact that he's a human being that truly made a mistake. I hated myself for feeling like that for so long, but I think I needed closure. And I got it. That chapter has officially closed. No ending. Just done. A new novel will start when he comes back. I do know that. 


I can feel God working through all of this with me. Helping me let go. Cuz to be honest, I don't think I could have done this myself. I know Friday is right around the corner. And I'm ready with open arms to just hug my sister and tell her that he'll be fine, when in reality I really don't know if he'll be fine. All I know is with God's guidance, God will be watching over Marc. Making sure that God sees what we can't. Filling Marc's heart with moments of happiness when he's sad. Filling his mind with dreams of holding that Lil' girl. Giving Marc the HOPE that he'll come home sooner than later. I will be praying every nite for him and my sister. I love them so much. And I know, no matter what is in store for them God will be guiding them through this rough time, comforting them with the touch of the Holy Spirit.