My love ....

For Eli has extended to an amount that I thought could never exist. 

The past week my heart has been hurting. A lot. More achy than anything. And it hurts for those poor families who have lost a small soul that left to early. My heart hurts for what their hearts are feeling. 

I'm so emotional, its unexplainable. And I can't shake the thought of what those innocent eyes saw and how scared they must of felt. Really, when all they probably wanted was mommy. I can't even fathom the thought of what is to come for their tempered futures. 

So I carry Eli more. I am more patient. I let stupid things go. I don't allow myself to get frustrated with him because I know what those parents who did lose their children, what they would give to have that ALL back. 

Last night a friend of mine posted an extremely graphic video. It displayed a step father abusing his step son, who is only three. And my body shivered with anger. Pain for that poor lil' boy. My throat numbed up and I felt an urge to throw up from such violence that was shown to a sweet innocent lil' boy. Three. Three is still so little and to know someone can be so angry with one of God's angels gave me hatred towards that man. The video mentally disturbed me and has been lingering with me since I saw it. I don't understand how someone can violently cause harm and force to a lil' body of only three. I keep saying three because what can a three year old do to protect themselves but cry. And that's what that three year old boy did. And scream. All I wanted to do was pull him out and tell him he's not gonna hurt anymore. It gave me some comfort knowing the man was arrested shortly after the posting of the video. But that harm that man already did to that lil' boy mentally and physically is something that will stay with him forever.

It saddens me because this isn't just one child in this situation, but millions. But I know as God would quote it, vengeance is mine. And so it shall be. I just hope they pay for the harm they did to God's lil' angels. Praying for both the families of Connecticut and that sweet three old. 

To much..

to post. and yet I'm gonna try and cram as much as I can. So my lil' Eli just turned nineteen months. Nineteen months. I can't believe it. It's amazing to see his transformation each month, but saddens my heart to see him look older, act older, feel heavier. This kid has a personality on him like you wouldn't believe.
So quick stats:
-Still nursing. Really working HARD trying to wean him. Nursing morning midday and night.
-wearing 18-24 months clothes.
-size 6 shoes
-no paci only when you go mimi
-your an excellent sleeper no complaints here :)
-still obsessed with bears
-your new obsession is Elf the movie (this needs a whole post in itself)
-Oh and another obsession is Ana as you call him (santa)
-Love to wrestle
-you have no fear Eli you'll jump off anything, fall on anything. Your such a boy ;)
-Love to wrestle the poor pups. And I really mean poor pups. You have some pretty amazing doggies.
-TV I have realized will never be something you like. You're an outdoor kid and I'm totally fine with that.
-Your taking swim classes, but you still have stranger anxiety and don't fully trust your instructor.
-still extremely attached to mama.
-Your vocal and signing still amazes me. You talk so much, I know me and daddy will have problems with school :)
-You finally got sick. And sick you got. It was horrible. It was a week before our wedding and it broke my heart. You didn't eat for 4 days (not like you at all) and lost a pound. Thank god it was over and I got my lil' guy back. but boy was it hard to see your crazy loud spirit die for 4 days. ;(
-You love, love your nana and papa (grandpa)
-You love to throw away trash and help mommy and daddy clean.
-You can be picky at times with food. You still don't like meat, but love tofu and soy.
-Cereal and yogurt is always your first option for food.
-You are so sweet with babies especially Meli. You love kissing and hugging her. It's made me and daddy realize you mite need a lil' sibling :)
-We are thinking of putting you in some sort of sport, but a lot of places don't start till 3. We just need you to get some energy out :)
-You got your first haircut which you needed and you looked so darn cute.
-You make the cutest lil' face when I take pix of you and even say CHEESE now. It's to darn cute SO bud that's it for now. I leave you with some wonderful pix of my big 19 month old.
more posts to come...

Halloween...

Oh how I was excited. Yes, having a child makes you become a child again. And my oh my was this year so exciting knowing Eli was kind of aware of what was going on. He knew that when he knocked on a door to hold out his bucket and try and say trick or treat. And once that candy was in his bucket he had his hand digging through it to see what yummy thing he could eat next. Yes this boy was eating candy all night. And well me being so strict, I gave in and allowed it. I mean c'mon it's Halloween. Moi even dressed up with us a greaser like Eli. He even let me tease his hair. And I'm not gonna lie, he looked mighty handsome. I wish he'd let me do his hair more (wink, wink) ... So off we went to Moi's parents house then my sisters house. And Eli was such a good boy the whole time. Not one squeal. But, I can't really say much that kids mouth was full of candy the whole time.

FALL is coming

And this mama couldn't be happier. 

Me and the hubs decided to wait to go get our pumpkins. The weather here in San Diego has been awfully hot and we just weren't in the pumpkin picking mood just yet. So this past Sat it was perfect weather to go get our pumpkins. We headed up to good Ol' Julian and had a blast with lil' man. We go every year to this adorable lil' place up in Julian that has everything you can think of. When we first started going it was this tiny thing, now it has grown and it's amazing to see a lil' mom and pop store grow so much. Eli got to see the animals, play in huge teepees, go on a hay ride, pick out his pumpkin, and go crazy. We were there for a good 4 hours. And Eli and us enjoyed every minute of it. I didn't wanna leave. I wish we could have just stayed up there. That night it rained and it set in fall for us :)

The next day we made our Scary haunted Gingerbread house and Eli enjoyed both eating it and decorating it. :)