My love ....

For Eli has extended to an amount that I thought could never exist. 

The past week my heart has been hurting. A lot. More achy than anything. And it hurts for those poor families who have lost a small soul that left to early. My heart hurts for what their hearts are feeling. 

I'm so emotional, its unexplainable. And I can't shake the thought of what those innocent eyes saw and how scared they must of felt. Really, when all they probably wanted was mommy. I can't even fathom the thought of what is to come for their tempered futures. 

So I carry Eli more. I am more patient. I let stupid things go. I don't allow myself to get frustrated with him because I know what those parents who did lose their children, what they would give to have that ALL back. 

Last night a friend of mine posted an extremely graphic video. It displayed a step father abusing his step son, who is only three. And my body shivered with anger. Pain for that poor lil' boy. My throat numbed up and I felt an urge to throw up from such violence that was shown to a sweet innocent lil' boy. Three. Three is still so little and to know someone can be so angry with one of God's angels gave me hatred towards that man. The video mentally disturbed me and has been lingering with me since I saw it. I don't understand how someone can violently cause harm and force to a lil' body of only three. I keep saying three because what can a three year old do to protect themselves but cry. And that's what that three year old boy did. And scream. All I wanted to do was pull him out and tell him he's not gonna hurt anymore. It gave me some comfort knowing the man was arrested shortly after the posting of the video. But that harm that man already did to that lil' boy mentally and physically is something that will stay with him forever.

It saddens me because this isn't just one child in this situation, but millions. But I know as God would quote it, vengeance is mine. And so it shall be. I just hope they pay for the harm they did to God's lil' angels. Praying for both the families of Connecticut and that sweet three old.