Tonite

So Eli started sleeping in his crib about a week ago and is getting such a better nites sleep.
But he still wakes up every 3 hrs or so to eat. Well tonite we are going on 5 hrs now. It's 1 in the morning and I'm not sure if I should head to bed or wait till he wakes up to eat. If I go to bed now and he wakes up in 30 mins or so, which always happens, I'll extremely exhausted with just a cat nap or should I just wait up till he wakes up. Not sure, but while I am making my decision I decided to throw on a Lil' King of Queens and watch season after season. This is me and Moi's Show and we can watch all 9 seasons over and over. This is my other obsession.

Now as I'm watching this amazing, hilarious show we've decided on getting Lil' Man a new carseat. Yes after only 4 months of using the one we had, he's almost outgrown it by height and it fits way to tight on his chunkiness :) After researching and reading the safest car seat polls I decided to go with the Britax. SO happy we are getting this for him. I sure hope he likes this one more than his Chicco car seat which he hates with a passion. Literally!! That kid cries everytime we put him in it and sweats like crazy. 


Good thing is this new carseat should fit him till he's 2 or 3 years old. Coolest thing about it is the side air protection. Crazy what people come up with these days, but so happy they have. Now my lil man will have a view and not be so tied down to his chicco. By the way, have you seen a year old in those infant car seats? What is up with that? I've seen that twice, the kids heads are hitting the top, C'mon parents. I say to Moi that there is NO price on my babies safety. Delivery date should be the 8th. I'm so excited to see him in it. Yes the things I get excited about now, being a mommy! :)

Yippeee..

Yes this is my excitement to go see my bros the first week of December. And I'm bringing Mr. Chunkers with me. I can't wait. Tomorrow I'm booking flight, hotel and car.

My brothers have only met lil' man once, when he was first born so I'm more than excited. I know they are gonna fall in love with him.


And the best part is it's during December, so that means Christmas things will be going on.
And have I told you, I'm overly obsessed with Christmas. I start listening to Christmas music the first week of November. It's my unhealthy obsession.








Did I tell you I'm excited?! :)

Me time

Have you ever just needed a few minutes of "ME" time. 


Yes I was desperate for it. I am a Stay at home mama and having Moi work 60 hours plus every week, most of the time it is just Eli, me and the pups. It gets a lil' lonely sometimes, but I truly enjoy being Eli's mama and blessed to have the opportunity to stay at home with Eli. But like all you mamas out there, it is nice to just have a nap (where you aren't waking up every couple of mins to check on the baby), or relax in the tub for a few mins or just a simple lunch where you can use both hands to eat. :) So today Moi had off, which was absolute bliss. I actually had a nap, a deep nap and man did if feel amazing. That hour felt like a full nights sleep. I was so rejuvenated. Then tonight Moi had a co-workers sons dinner to go to. I opted out of it (I just wanted to relax) and I suggested him take Eli. He was hesitant, but I talked him into taking our lil' booger butt. He did so good with Moi. He always does so good with daddy, its mommy he tends to be a booger with. He def. knows who mommy and daddy are. Lil' boy has me wrapped around those tiny chubby fingers. Well while they were gone I got to clean. Vacuum, clean the kitchen, take out the trash. Things I haven't been able to do. And it was so nice to just clean. 


But I can only handle small visits away. I was missing that boy like crazy and when Moi called telling me he was heading home, I couldn't wait to see my baby. I couldn't hold my patience and met them outside as I saw him driving up. I missed his smell so badly. And just him. So yes, I do love "ME" time, but only can handle them in small intervals or else my heart would be yearning for my lil' chunkers.

slowly but surely

I just LOVE this pic, it has nothing to do with my topic. but i couldn't help but POST the cuteness of it

So church and my Christianity has always been a big part of my life. I remember as a lil' girl my brother and me taking a bus (not the city ones) the church bus to church. It was our highlight of that week. They would get out candy bars out at the end of the day and ask q's about what the lesson was of church. Me and Martin always knew the answers.


Well Moi grew up with the Catholic background, but never practiced it after his elementary years, so I say he is a wondering spirit. :) Ne who, I brought up to Moi how important it is to me to have our lil' E grow up with a church background. I really believe it helps an individual become stronger with confidence, self power, conviction and lets face it morals. No one want to disappoint God. I think I've told Moi a million times that I really want him to go with us, but it never seems to get through to him. Well last week I felt someone staring at me when I was sleeping. It was Moi peeking at me, asking me if we were gonna go to church...HUH?!? yeah that was my question. What did I say that got to Moi?! Whatever it was, I was so happy and hopped out of bed and got us ready)meaning me and Lil' Man.


We headed out and were approached by the sweetest people welcoming us. We had a mini tour and man did I feel like, yeah, this is our place. I opened the programs for that day and saw the words Children's Christmas Show, automatically my mind wondered off to Eli being five years old and singing Extremely loud while waving at us. I got so excited. This is what I had wanted for SO long. Def a dream of mine. To be sitting with my two main men, enjoying a serman and singing my lungs off! I thought to myself, my lil' man will be running around this place, screaming and so excited to see his friends. I know I was getting ahead of myself, but it felt so darn good. Knowing that this is where my family will be growing up together. Becoming stronger and stronger. The craziest, well not craziest, but most shocking to us was the pastor. The moment we walked into the doors a nice man approached us and welcomed us so gracefully and loving. We thought he was just a volunteer and he even took time to, as I mentioned, to show us a brief tour. We both looked at each other in AWW..when we saw the pastor step onto the stage. It was the nice, sweet man who first welcomed us. I just knew. Yup, this is it. I loved the warmth and homey feeling of it. It wasn't huge, but wasn't small either. As goldilocks would say it, it was perfect :) 


On another note, Eli did pretty good, at the end he got a lil fussy cuz that boy needed his food, NOW! yeah, he's a good 19 lbs., so you can imagine. But it felt so good to go to church as a family. The lil' things in life, make the biggest differences and Moi going to church with us made me fall all over in love again. It was such a connection we had. It was how I always pictured us, but until today was never a real image. Moi knew how important it meant to me. So know I got the perfect first date (after Eli was born) for us. Cuz I know how important is it to him. Just gotta wait till my madre takes her classes for CPR for Lil' man and we will be off.

Its never too Late

The past few months, actually since our Lil' E's birth, Moi and I's relationship has veered off. We became distant and hurtful towards one another. The love that we so deeply had for each other was diminishing. We were becoming your typical statistics. I hated that. I hated thinking that divorce was a possibility. Doubting who we are, doubting us was hard to swallow, but it was the truth and the truth isn't always something you wanna hear. Eli was a definite surprise to us both and came as much of a shock. We weren't prepared and what we thought we knew about each other was just the opposite. Our parenting skills were not the same and well lets face it this was our first child and we hadn't really enjoyed a honeymoon stage of actually being married. We were "new" to this whole stage and we really didn't know one another as a married couple. We were thrown into this whole different life. A life that was not familiar to us and it was scary. 


But this past few weeks I think we are rediscovering the love that was there. And now we are doing it as parents. It's so different, but so uplifting. It gives me hope. Marriage isn't always easy and sometimes can be full of arguments and the silent treatment, but who says it always has to be that way. What you make of it determines the outcome. I'm not gonna sit back and let it happen. I gotta try. Like my last post about us, we definitely have gone far from that point. Our marriage isn't too late for a miracle and I think I see one coming for us. And know we can make it with our Lil' E in hand. 

My new love...

Check out this bad boy...so me and Moi had a bet if the Chargers win I get my dream jogging stroller and guess what they did...BooYah! I went to go check it out yesterday with my momma goose and feel in love. I can't wait to use it, the stroller we have now is ok, but I like to go on long walks and the place I go is plain dirt. So this beauty will do a great job. And Eli test drove it with me:) He loved the suspension-yes suspension. I'm so excited!!!

Im loving the noise...

So Eli has officially found his voice. Our house no longer is just dog barks, but baby cries, screams, laughs, giggles, grunting and lately his favorite bubble blowing. We love it. It's so funny, when Eli is sleeping, me and Moi look at each other and are both thinking the same thing. It's so quiet. I love every lil' thing that comes out of that Lil' mans mouth. His personality is growing everyday. I'm so amazed at how much he's grown in just 4 months.


Speaking of 4 months, yesterday was his 4 month birthday. My hubby laughs at me when I call them his birthdays, but you gotta celebrate every month. I don't wanna miss out. I can't believe he's already four months. Eli can roll over "officially". Daddy hasn't seen it yet, so we are practicing when daddy gets home. He has his four month check up soon, which means more shots :(, but I can't wait to see his weight. I'm guessing around 18lbs, yes, 18lbs. I def. gotta chunkers, but I love every roll. He seriously has the best rolls out there. He starting to love his two fingers and thumb at moments, it hilarious to hear him sucking on them. He is such a lil' talker and laughs now like crazy. He loves the game, "I'm gonna get you"he goes bonkers over that. His jumpy is by far his fav toy. He loves that thing. He never really liked his bouncy or his play mat. He is getting out of the habit of ALWAYS falling asleep in his swing. I'm so thankful for that, he has almost outgrown it, so I knew it was time to say bye, bye to it. He tries so hard to move when he does tummy time and gets extremely frustrated when he's just still. I know once he learns to crawl that will be the end of me. Eli constantly needs to be entertained, or around people. He hates being left alone (I don't leave him alone, only if I go upstairs for a sec to put something away) He is def a people person, this kid is a social butterfly and have I told you he's a FLIRT. Yes, the biggest baby flirt I have ever known. He is starting to get separation anxiety when he is being held by others he isn't familiar with. It kinda makes me heart happy that he wants mommy :). I love how he is starting to grab my face when he looks at me. How he hugs me now when he's sleepy. He is starting to learn his strength. As I told you before he doesn't like to be still, so when he sits in his bumbo and doesn't have toys in front of him, he is starting to do this bucking thing with his back. He'll lean back and he LOVES doing that. It freaks us out, but at the same time we laugh cuz he is such a crazy lil' man. He's starting to throw his arms behind his head like a push up. He's teething like horribly and his tiny lil' tongue is constantly sticking out. Oh and I think the cutest thing by far is how he is starting to really recognize the pups and LOVES petting their fur. It's adorable. His hands go all crazy and he likes to squeeze them. Good thing I have amazing doggies that don't mind it. He still isn't sleeping through the night. He wakes up about 2-3 times a night. I truly love every single thing about this lil' guy. 

Heres the crunches...

My Lil' Eli. You can see in the pic that mommy had to chop off her hair cuz you discovered the fun of not only pulling, but yanking out my hair.

Eli I just wanted you to know how much I love you.

The smell of your sweet skin. tiny toes. Your chubby fingers. It brings such a warmth to my heart.

Your cry makes my heart cry and all I wanna do is hold you.

Your amazing. Your gorgeous. Your MY LIFE.

You give this life, meaning.

I have such a blessed life Eli, cuz you're in it.

You make my world go round and I never want it to stop.

Thank you Eli for choosing me as your mama.

I promise to be the best mama to you.
I never want you to have a worry in life.
I want you to know Eli daddy is so excited that you two have become lil' buddies.
He is really becoming something amazing. 
He's starting to really fall in love with you. 
Mommy and daddy love you with ALL our hearts Eli.
XOXO

This lil' Guy Melts my heart x a million

Life can change in an instant

Today's church lesson was hope and faith. It's crazy how every Sunday, the message always hits so close to home. I know I need to have faith and hope that me and Moi will make it through this rough patch we are having right now. That all couples experience this, and it isn't the end of us. I know God put Moi in my life for a reason, and now I know one of those reasons was Eli. That boy is a true blessing. I know that God is watching us and it hurts him to see us fighting. To know that he gave us this precious gift and yet here we are, arguing in front of him. In all truth we are his children. No father wants to see their children fighting. At times like these, when relationships are tested, I forget God is there. I'm not gonna lie, I have doubted our marriage many times. More times than I'd like to admit. Divorce should never be a word that is spoken in a marriage, but I have said it numerous times. It takes work, a lot of work. Marriage is something that takes 150% from both sides. It's not all rainbows and butterflies. I guess, I also need to realize that. I went into it being a lil' naive. Thinking it was ALWAYS gonna be this fairytale story.


It's amazing though how God translates his work unto others.


As the end of church approached, the main singer gave his testimony. His two year old daughter was hospitalized three months ago from a brain tumor. They have pretty much lived at Children's hospital. Then just a week ago his wife gave birth to their third child, only for the baby to be born with pneumonia. Yet here they were, standing in front of us. Singing and praising the Lord. Everyone had tears in their eyes and as he kept talking I looked down at Eli and really realized how truly I am so blessed. I kissed his head and just hugged him. In my mind at that moment I was thanking God for him. This couple who had two children in the hospital, had the most unbelievable faith. Their strength surrounded the whole room. Everyone could feel their pain. They weren't ashamed to show their venerability, yet their faith in God was never questionable, even in this time of despair, anguish and hurt. How can this couple do that and yet I seemed to have forgotten mine. My hope that me and Moi's relationship can regrow from this situation. It was a slap in the face. I needed to kneel before God and ask him for help. I needed to go the comfort of our God and talk to him. After all, he is the "Best" listener. It was a realization that God is doing miraculous things everyday and today he did one with me. In my toughest times, I need to know that I'm not alone. God is there, holding my hand. Giving me guidance. My faith was reassured today. Life is so precious it can change in an instant. I knew I was at this particular church setting for a reason. God brought me there to open my eyes. To let me know people who are suffering far worse than I am, are still holding strong to their faith and I needed to as well. Not to give up because that is the easiest thing to do. To fight for my marriage. Fight for my family. For my son.

Today I miss my doggy

two years ago me and moi found the most amazing dog.


He was this big ol' teddy bear. A lil' shy, but he had the sweetest face. We just loved him so much and knew he was the dog for us. He was so big for being a puppy, but he was ours. It was so funny cuz there was a couple at the rescue also looking for a puppy and when we spotted them looking at our "max" we rushed over and picked him up and said this is our dog! 


The next few days we had the funniest, goofiest dog. The girls LOVED him and he was such a gentle giant.


Then three days later, I noticed he was not feeling so good. I took him to the vet, and it was the worst news I could have heard. My poor puppy had parvo. What?! How?! Why?! Is he gonna get better?!


I couldn't believe this puppy who had such a hard life, came to us only to leave us 3 days later to be hospitalized. On day 3 that max was in the vet, they called us and said he's almost ready to go home, but I still had an ugly feeling. Something wasn't right. Then minutes later they call us to tell us max was barking like crazy and then stopped breathing. My heart sank and I knew. My poor puppy had lost his battle he fought so hard for, to parvo. I think the worst part was not visiting him in the hospital. I hate that I never saw him before he passed. It somehow attacked his heart, which is very uncommon, but our max had it. We had his ashes put in a box with his name on it and they had his adorable lil' paw in plaster for us to keep. 


So today I miss him. I picture his last few breaths all by himself and it kills me. The waterworks start and I can't stop them. I miss that doggy so much. But I know he's in doggy heaven looking over all our others doggies. 
RIP my sweet max