Life can change in an instant

Today's church lesson was hope and faith. It's crazy how every Sunday, the message always hits so close to home. I know I need to have faith and hope that me and Moi will make it through this rough patch we are having right now. That all couples experience this, and it isn't the end of us. I know God put Moi in my life for a reason, and now I know one of those reasons was Eli. That boy is a true blessing. I know that God is watching us and it hurts him to see us fighting. To know that he gave us this precious gift and yet here we are, arguing in front of him. In all truth we are his children. No father wants to see their children fighting. At times like these, when relationships are tested, I forget God is there. I'm not gonna lie, I have doubted our marriage many times. More times than I'd like to admit. Divorce should never be a word that is spoken in a marriage, but I have said it numerous times. It takes work, a lot of work. Marriage is something that takes 150% from both sides. It's not all rainbows and butterflies. I guess, I also need to realize that. I went into it being a lil' naive. Thinking it was ALWAYS gonna be this fairytale story.


It's amazing though how God translates his work unto others.


As the end of church approached, the main singer gave his testimony. His two year old daughter was hospitalized three months ago from a brain tumor. They have pretty much lived at Children's hospital. Then just a week ago his wife gave birth to their third child, only for the baby to be born with pneumonia. Yet here they were, standing in front of us. Singing and praising the Lord. Everyone had tears in their eyes and as he kept talking I looked down at Eli and really realized how truly I am so blessed. I kissed his head and just hugged him. In my mind at that moment I was thanking God for him. This couple who had two children in the hospital, had the most unbelievable faith. Their strength surrounded the whole room. Everyone could feel their pain. They weren't ashamed to show their venerability, yet their faith in God was never questionable, even in this time of despair, anguish and hurt. How can this couple do that and yet I seemed to have forgotten mine. My hope that me and Moi's relationship can regrow from this situation. It was a slap in the face. I needed to kneel before God and ask him for help. I needed to go the comfort of our God and talk to him. After all, he is the "Best" listener. It was a realization that God is doing miraculous things everyday and today he did one with me. In my toughest times, I need to know that I'm not alone. God is there, holding my hand. Giving me guidance. My faith was reassured today. Life is so precious it can change in an instant. I knew I was at this particular church setting for a reason. God brought me there to open my eyes. To let me know people who are suffering far worse than I am, are still holding strong to their faith and I needed to as well. Not to give up because that is the easiest thing to do. To fight for my marriage. Fight for my family. For my son.