My Wise child...

Sometimes I look at Eli and he seems so much wiser than that of a 13 month old. He's wise to me. He can connect with anyone who comes in contact with him and he can sense when someone is hurt. It's truly amazing. We noticed it when Moi was tickling me (which I HATE) and I was screaming in laughter and yelling at the same time to stop. Eli came wobbling over crying, resting his head on my chest. As if he thought I was in dier need of his help. We thought it was the sweetest thing. But thought it was just because I was screaming. Then Eli and me headed to my sisters house yesterday when I got the call that she might be having her Lil' Meli earlier than we thought. I sped over there and Marisa was breathing hard. Eli automatically ran over to her in tears. Then when she had a break in between contractions he'd stop. The moment she started to breath hard, he'd look up at her with sad lil' eyes and begin to cry. I can't explain it. But that kid is such an old lil' soul. I am so in love with him and I know he knows that. I'm just so amazed by him everyday.

To do list...

There is plenty on my to do list...

In 5 short months we will be finally celebrating me and Moi's love...aww so sweet :) And there is still so much to do. I'm not to stressed. Believe it or not, but I def. don't wanna be finishing up stuff the day of. So on the top of my list..


DJ
Caterer
Florist
Photographer
Videographer
Ice sculpture
Makeup

Bridesmaid dresses

Groomsman suits

Officiant

Cake

Up lighting

Oh lordy lord. 

A lil' inspiration never hurt anyone...

Life...

The thought of life is always crossing my mind. We're born, live and die. But what happens in between is what makes it all matter. So with that thought, I was thinking about our Eli's life. How amazingly blessed we are to have his life be part of ours. But at the same time how fast time is flying by. He is getting big and I see him grow by the hour. He's a different child in a days time and I didn't expect that it would come so quickly. 


And with my sister pregnancy coming to an end I find myself with the baby bug. And BAD. I look at Eli's baby pix and I get a lil' bit of that hit to the heart. I see my baby and then look over to see my toddler walking and "thinking" he's talking. It truly isn't fair how fast a child grows from birth to a year. 


And now I'm finding myself more than not holding a baby, my baby. Being pregnant again and actually enjoying it all. I can still remember pregnancy. labor. and birth. And to be honest it ALL was the worst experience. None of it was easy for me. But for some reason I want it again. Why?!? I'm quite not sure. But now what is holding me back is me and Moi's relationship. Will we go back to that awful place we were when Eli first came home?! Will I be so overwhelmed with everything, will my postpartum hit me again?! It all comes back to me and I just see me tying my tubes and adopting. Not even allowing me to have a chance because I see me and Moi ending. Ugh...WHY. I'm so confused...

Fathers Day...

I surprised Moi with a nice brunch made by me. :) Breakfast enchiladas, bagels, muffins, fruit, coffee and yummy mimosas :) and invited his parents over. It was really nice. Eli made moi a book from Shutterfly and got them matching shirts. As well as a picture of those two. Gosh I love my boys! Eli was a goofball as always. I also wrote him a lil' something from my heart :

My love,

I sat down the other day. Thinking what new poem should I come up with this year for Father's day. What stupid cliche line should I use. And honestly, I couldn't think of any because I had so many thoughts that I just wanted to write down. So that is what this is. My Thank you to you. My whole life as a little girl, I was always that girl who didn't have a dad. A man to guide me. To help pick me up when I fell. And even now I don't have a father to be there for me for my first born child. To be the grandfather I knew would never exist. I don't have many memories as I can recall because I think truly they are just to hard for me to think about. I void them out, so I don't have to feel the pain. The emptiness I have, not having a father in my life. And I'm not writing this in need of pity or a hug, but to tell you why I am so thankful for you. Why I pray to God, that he has truly blessed me with an amazing, yet sometimes stubborn :), but loving husband. And now father. I see Eli and I know he will never have to tell anyone that dad can't or won't come. He will have you to help pick him up, help guide him through stumbles in life that may come his way. His memories won't be hazy of what he thought his father was. They will be crystal clear memories of laughter, happiness and days spent with his daddy. And Eli will have you as his father, who will be his best friend. Who will be there just as a father should. Who will be waiting impatiently when Eli one day has his own little family. You amaze me everyday on your strength. Your work ethic. The role you play as my husband and Eli's daddy. I know everything happens for a reason, and maybe my reason for not having my father was because God knew the man that would enter my life would make up for all that I lost. Fill the void I once had. He knew that my children would never have to face what I did. He knew that our Eli would have the most amazing father a child could ever have. Thank you my love, for just being, Eli's daddy. Because I couldn't imagine it being any one else.

Your love!

It was a great day and tonite we go on our first date in a LONG time :)

How cute is that card...I love that chubby lil' hand!

The coasters Eli made in Gymboree

I was so excited to give moi his gifts....and yes I cried like a baby. Eli has made this mommy a sober :)

wedding..

I guess it's like six months till our wedding..and this mama has absolutely nothing done ....
First on the list is finding a caterer and DJ. Then getting my dress altered. We are doing the flowers. And to find a wedding make up artist. I'm very picky on how I like it, so we'll see. The one I wanted won't be in town. But c'mon I live in SD, there has to be someone. Right?

13 months and counting...

So to start off, I've been so behind. I took Eli's 1 yr pix like 3 wks after his first birthday and now I'm just posting his 13 month stats. But in all fairness my photography has really been taking off. I'm overly obsessed with it and want every detail. So yes, I'm horrible. But hey better late than never. So to start Eli here's your adorable 1 yr pictures. We did a few fun props because you are just a fun kid. You did great and I want to blow up every picture and put them all around the house :) But I think I'm gonna make you a book and blow up a few and put it up in your room. How cute would that be :) So here ya go buddy...

My sweet Eli. I still can't believe your now 13 months. I felt like time flew when you turned 6 months, but man it's flier by even quicker now that you turned One. You are becoming such a toddler. I love seeing your personality. Your a goof, and lately you watch people and will copy what ever they're doing. Especially when people laugh. You love imitating people. And your such a ham. You love getting peoples attention of the all mighty, great Eli :) But I could watch you for hours.

So lets see....

*I counted your teeth you have 12 and 3 coming in. And boy have you been clingy to mommy. 

*Your still nursing 3x a day. Sometimes only twice, but with your teeth your doing 3x a day.

*You are the best eater. I must say I give myself credit for that :) We never did many purees with you starting with early on allowing you feed to yourself. So I think that has a lot to do with it. Or at least I like to think :)

*Your a pro with straws now. And have no problem drinking from your straw sippie. 

*You sleep so good bud. From 8-930...

*You say...nahla, ollie (<--doggie names), mama, dada, bah is for max

*You are in size 4 diapers still 

*Your clothes are between 18-24 months and your starting to thin out, which makes this mama a lil sad :(

*You do so good w.others when mama isn't around...but when i'm near your not to sure of strangers, lil booger :)

*Your absolutely obsessed with water and I can't wait to take you the water park near the house

*You are so close walking by yourself. You let yourself actually fall now without crying

*Oh and you LOVE to dance. I try so hard to get in on video but you know when mommy is video taping you so you stop...but I'm determined to get it

*You of course hate TV so we have music on ALL day and you are outside from sun up to sun down. 

*You love your grandpa. You two have a special connection it's so cute :)

*And you love your sugarnana. You can actually spot her voice if she's not in sight and you'll be all excited to go greet her. :)

*You love animals...period :)

*You now know if you aren't listening and will test mommy and daddy on certain things.

*I've also been doing time out because you have a temper...BAD. And I'm not into spanking...I just sit you in the corner and ignore you until you stop, which seems to be working.

*You weigh 23 lbs 11 oz and 31 in tall :) 

I sure hope you taller than your papa

*We opted out of the MMR, Chicken pox and HEP B and HEP A shots for now. When we start traveling to foreign countries we will prob get him vaccinated. But for now no shots. 

*let's see.....I think that's it for now, if I remember more I'll post again...

Love ya stinky :) 

I'm so in love with being your mama. 

I can't wait to show you the world....

stage fright..?!

Oh goodness.

So a friend of my cousins asked if I could sing for her mothers surprise bday this friday. When I was asked, I didn't think twice. Sure. And why not, I LOVE singing.

But now that it is three days away I'm rethinking my decision. I haven't sang in a while and what if I forget the lyrics. Good thing it's a country song. I tend to do better w.Country. Not sure why :) But wait. It's a song from Laura Alaina. That girl's pitch is HIGH. So yes, all I have been doing is singing it over and over. That one part I have to go high in range, I think I got :)

Well hopefully. So now lets see if I remember the lyrics.

Zombie Apocalypse?!

Yes I laugh too. 


Well I did. 


Moi has always felt that a virus is going to be the end of humanity. And I well I know the end will come. We aren't meant to live forever. Right?! But what if something forces the human species to go extinct. 


Moi and I truly believe that there are many government conspiracies. We can sit and watch documentary's on it for hours. One being the HIV and AIDS virus. Released in our poverty, low income society's, for well, population control. Killing statically speaking, 1.8 million people form AIDS or HIV related elements. 


As in I am Legend, it was meant to be a good thing that led to the release of the virus. But here in the real world. I don't believe that. I know the government is behind something. It could also be, behind our climate change. With that comes so many different finds as in the Zombie ant. Yes. This is true.


http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/03/pictures/110303-zombie-ants-fungus-new-species-fungi-bugs-science-brazil/#/zombie-fungus-infects-insects-mind-control-ant-plant_32849_600x450.jpg


We are in a society where Zombies are the living dead. So maybe I don't believe it's the living dead, but I do believe a virus will be released where Zombie like symptoms will attack our nervous system. Heck look at rabies. It might take up to a year to incubate in our bodies, but if the government got a hold of it, whose to say there can't be an airborne Rage Virus from it. 


I'm just saying, from all the new stories out there regarding cannibalism, it's hard not to look at the most obvious reason. 
http://gawker.com/5914059/grab-your-boomstick-the-zombie-apocalypse-may-actually-be-upon-us


All I know is we are ready. Gas masks and everything. All I need to learn is how to hot wire the military truck up the street from us :)


Ok in all honesty, it's good to have a emergency pack. I realized that the day San Diego went black and the lines for the stores with generators were out the door. So yup, Moi has our packs set to go. You never, ever know.