Shes GONE :(

So Eli hasn't been sleeping too well cuz of his teething, so this morning lil' man and I decided to get a lil' extra Z's in. We actually didn't wake up till' 11:30 if you can believe that, but who can blame us when we are waking up every 2 hrs on the hour. Cedes plane left around 1:30 so me n Eli zoomed through the morning, feed him, changed him and rushed out of the house so I could sneak in my last hug for Cedes until Thanksgiving. I was prepared to ball my eyes out, but fortunately since I was running late I didn't stay long. which in a way was good. I already had NO makeup on in a major airport and a red, puffy eyed face was not gonna make it any better. Me and Eli rushed in gave her our last hugs and kisses and wished her a safe flight. As I was driving back home I came to a revelation. I think the reason I feel so deeply for Cedes isn't just for the mere fact that I deeply love that lil' girl, but the fact that she is the same age I was when I lost my father and both our father's play a tremendous role in our life, whether good or bad. You see the day my father passed away, I became very separated from my emotions. I acted like I was ok, the same way Cedes acts. I was more relatable to Cedes than I thought. That's why I was able to talk to her so easily. Me and her were the same. This whole time, I thought, I never truly knew what Cedes was feeling, but I did feel that. Even now, twenty-five years old, I still have my moments when I am eight years old, with no dad to take me to the father daughter dance, just as Cedes is waiting for the dad that will never come to her lunches at school. I don't want Cedes to feel the pain I did and still do.


You see God does pretty remarkable things, and this is one of them. God knew Cedes destiny and knew I was here to help her through it as she is here to help me through my own fears. I know the feeling of what it's like to be the only girl with NO dad and so does Cedes. God places people and certain things in your life for a reason, it's not out of coincidence or just a fluke. Cedes was meant to be in my life and I was meant to be in  hers. This eight year old has a lil' something to teach me. And as I watch her grow it will help remind me that God is truly doing things, with me, Cedes. From this point on, I will know that Cedes situation, is the reason she is in my life. That God will show throughout our lives together the things we will learn from one another and how we will grow. God def. surprises us when we least expect it.