Noticing...

I'm all about reading...


Well when it comes to Eli. I wanna know my son. I don't wanna be one of those mothers that look back and say I should have done this...Even though I know those moments will come up, I want the important ones to be discarded. Never even mentioned because it didn't happen. I know my mother did her absolute best raising me and my brothers and sisters, but I know there are so many things I wanna do different with my lil' man. 


Discipline. Punishment. What's the different well, there is an extreme difference. And just a few days ago to my knowledge it was all the same. But I realized punishment is external. Only a temporary compliance. Confusing the child. Discipline is applied with the understanding of what is happening and why. And well, I will never believe in spanking, but with a child like mine, I was determined to find another form of discipline. But I was lost. Eli has a horrid temper. I mean out of this world temper.  What do I do with a child when timeouts (also learned this is punishment and NOT discipline), then tried break times don't work. I'd sit and tell him to calm down and wait until he's done. But that only worked a few times. So I came across this article, regarding the time you spend with a child, their reactions to it. I know I spend ALL day with Eli we play, eat, and well we are each others lil' buddies. But what I took into account was when I gave Eli my attention. How long it took until he would just break down and start screaming, or try hitting me. (yes, he already hits). So today I took a different approach. I didn't go onto my FB for my photography once, nor did I lose sight of him. If I was gonna go into the kitchen I'd tell him to follow. The first moment he'd sign please I'd respond. And we spent quality time. We colored, played A LOT and guess what only maybe two outbursts. Compare this to yesterday and that is a HUGE difference. I realized that I was not spending enough quality time with him. And I think I'm a darn good mama. But I wasn't giving Eli the attention he was seeking. Now all children differ in what they need, but Eli needs me more than I thought. I learned he gets scared when he can't see me. And gets frustrated when I ignore him. (you'd think this is obvious) He loves play time with mama even if it is just chasing each other. I saw a different side of my son and gosh am I happy. My lil' guy is happy. And that is all that matters. I know I will always have new possible faults in my form of being Eli's role model, but I know I'll figure them out as I go and will never stop in teaching him. I won't just be that mother that says, I tried my best, I will be that mother that says I never gave up.